KSI twahl 7 3 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Help Save A Life by Donating Blood Our School’s Blood Drive! A couple of myths about donating blood usually circulate when it’s time for a blood drive. First, people think it is worse than it usually is. It’s true that you will feel a pinch, but it’s not worse than receiving a flu shot, and definitely less than getting your ear, nose or even tongue pierced! Second, people often worry about what will happen if they donate blood. There is no need to worry about “catching†anything from donating blood. Each needle is sealed in a sterile cover, used only once and thrown away for destruction. It’s completely safe! The only thing you can “get†from donating blood is the satisfaction of saving a life. Yes, you can save a life! Those of us blessed with good health can share it—through donating blood—to enable a premature baby to live, a burn victim to recover, a cancer patient to be treated, an accident victim to survive, or a transplant candidate to have a life-giving surgery. The blood drive will be on 1-25-2011 in Saint Peters Cathedral. If you are at least 15 years or older on the day of the drive, please don’t be afraid to give blood and get that special feeling that comes from helping save a life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KSI twahl 7 3 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Help Save A Life by Donating Blood Our School’s Blood Drive! A couple of myths about donating blood usually circulate when it’s time for a blood drive. First, people think it is worse than it usually is. (This sentence is not finished. If you are referring to the needle like the next sentence, then say so.) It’s true that you will feel a pinch, but it’s not worse than receiving a flu shot,; and (is) definitely less (painful) than getting your ear, nose or even tongue pierced!. (THESE ARE NOT SEPERATE PARAGRAPHS, they are still the same idea/list) Second, people often worry about what will happen if they donate blood. There is no need to worry about “catching†(remove the quotes, just don't use them)anything from donating blood. Each needle is sealed in a sterile(sterilized) cover, used only once and thrown away for destruction. It’s(The process is) completely safe (and efficient)!. The only thing you can “getâ€(NO QUOTES) from donating blood is the satisfaction of saving a life. Yes, you can save a life! (useless sentence) Those of us blessed with good health can share it through donating blood to enable a premature baby to live, a burn victim to recover, a cancer patient to be treated, an accident victim to survive, or a transplant candidate to have a life-giving surgery. (you went from donating blood to helping cancer patients. Stick to donating blood and those benefits. aka people that need blood, car accidents, etc. After you reword it, I can fix the grammar mistakes.) The blood drive will be on 1-25-2011(fix the date )in Saint Peters Cathedral. If you are at least 15 years or older on the day of the drive, please don’t be afraid to give blood. and(Come) get that (the) special feeling that comes from helping save a life! That is all I have for now. After we fix these mistakes, we can work on adding some more information as to donating blood, the benefits and anything else about it. Then we can look at some small errors that will fine tune your article for publishing. NO QUOTES and calm down on the ! Only use exclamation points at exclamatory remarks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KSI Ace 7 97 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 why to this whole thread. Initial Work Sample:This is a article I wrote last year (Sophomore Year) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards 2
KSI twahl 7 3 Posted October 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 Oh, I didn't realize it was just a sample. Go ahead and get rid of it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KSI PewPew 2 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 Why the f*** are you doing this xQS...? Why would I send this to KSI?? THIS WAS PART OF MY APPLICATION! Read the post next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSI twahl 7 3 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 What an ignorant ass response. It sucked, and I did my job editing it. 90% of people actually write an article in there application that can be used. Assuming this, I went ahead and shredded it. Surprised it got you on the team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KSI Ace 7 97 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards 2
Sungazer's Wife 6 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Dudes, take a chill pill. Yes, it was something s/he wrote last year, but it's better than previous members we've seen. if you take what I wrote as my initial sample, it was an old one I wrote for an affiliate. I believe he wants to write a review of Paranormal Activity 4 for his upcoming deadline. PewPew, I forgot to mention to you people on the news team, primarily Badfur, but sometimes Twahl, take it and point out the flaws. Why? It's to show what areas you may need to work on, and we work as a team to teach each other and learn from one another, it isn't meant to harm in any way. Also, he got on the team due to his experience (he obviously likes journalism from reading the application) and he has better writing skills than some people I've saw apply in the past. He seemed like a kid that understood what news team was going to be all about. Lastly, he wasn't Counter Strike:Go 2.0 nor was he that other one that's really famous for being terri-bad around here. I saw you two's spat earlier in a call to arms topic, and in my opinion, that wasn't the warmest welcoming to the community . . I better not see that spill over into my news area. We are here to work in harmony. News team is tough and stressful at times, but we need to stay courteous to one another. Closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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